So I woke up earlier than usual today to see the doctor. Got some antibiotics... I hope I get better soon because it is such a pain to be unwell. Went to the bank... Long queue, but I had my nose in a book the whole time, so whatever. Haha... I'm halfway through playing my part in saving the trees! =) Save paper and recycle, people! It's easy and it becomes a habit soon enough, TRUST ME.

Was walking to the bank when I past a pillar and glanced a graffiti that simply said, "I LOVE HER." in black marker. Small, tiny handwriting. And immediately, I thought to myself, "Well, you probably don't love her like you think you do because if you did, you wouldn't write it on a wall." I mean, come on. Seriously, right? That's such a childish thing to write, especially when it comes to vandalism. Vandalism is soooo wrong, for starters. Alright, zip.

I'm just being random here... And I'm gonna be random some more and talk about lizards. Do you know I always run under the fluorescent lights in my corridor whenever I am outside? Yeah, I don't walk, I run. Because I have a phobia for lizards and I've had a bad experience before when one dropped on my head. I thought it was water and brushed it off, and it landed on my collar. I looked down and remembered screaming my head off and throwing my bag on the floor like a mad woman, leaving Kelly's mum to pick it up for me. I made her check that the lizard wasn't on my bag, and then I ran back to her place and stripped off every bit of clothing, and flung it around before I wore it back. And they always hang around near the lights... I cannot stand it. Just now, I took insecticide and sprayed it on one. Which made me officially come to a conclusion that lizards are vengeful. I don't know if the one I attacked died or not, but I was on my way to the shower earlier when I saw one on the ceiling, in my kitchen. And then I started having all these weird thoughts, like maybe the lizard didn't die and it went back to communicate with its mate and now they're all out for revenge. DANG. Whatever, I don't believe they'd trump me! Bring it on; insecticide is my best friend! I will eliminate all of you! Muahahaha....

Okay, that's enough... I'm sleepy now. Waking up early is so not my thing. Tomorrow I have to meet Larel......... Sigh. And then it's SHOPPING!!!!!!! With Christabel Fernandez. Wheeeee~ =)

Dear Lisa is in town!!! Everytime I say her name, I am so tempted to play the Name Game, don't know why! LoL. Remember Lisa Fleming?!:





Isn't she a hottie? =) We were supposed to go clubbing today... But I was lazy, I don't have anything to wear, and...... I need to give my liver a break. Ha... She's originally supposed to stay till Friday or something and come back a few days later after Thailand... Iris was sweet for calling me up to invite me out with them but I text Lisa and she said, "Hey mama, change of plans. I might be leaving tomorrow." Shoooooooot. And she won't even be here for February. =( We always miss each other. She said never mind, next time, so I really hope there's a next time!!!! Next time, Lisa! You crazy woman! Haha... Love you much! xxx

So anyway, I don't have anything else to blog about because I have no assignments as of late and I haven't been going out much. Tomorrow, I need to see the doctor because I'm a bit unwell and have to run to the bank because I wanna save paper and recycle! SingTel has this service now where they send you your bills through email, so paper is not wasted 'cos there's no need for a hard copy! And so I have to go to the bank to sign up for some GIRO-On-Demand thingy. Errands to run, really... But it's just that I always like to kill two birds with one stone, and I haven't been going to town, so I haven't gotten my skirts and pants altered yet, haven't bought my hair tonic refill, haven't blah blah blah. Yes, I am always "on-the-way". Hehe.

Earlier in the middle of the night, I was at my computer when I heard the slightest "tick" behind me. Immediately, I thought, "SHIT. Please don't let it be..." I turned around and to my horror of horrors, a huge hideous cockroach was slowly making its way up the door of my wardrobe. I sprang out of my seat shrieking and went running to my mum. She was sleeping and I woke her up, and in her own clumsy half-asleep state, she knocked her head on the door jamb and cut herself. So I had to wait some more while she dressed her wound and listening to annoying people making unwanted noise around me, at the same time keeping an eye on that bloody cockroach. It flew across the room and disappeared up some bookcase, and that got me all panicky. Me and my mum were banging around trying to get that stupid bug out of its hiding place, and then I spotted it crawling along the ceiling. So I ran out shrieking again and my mum got the insecticide. We got the cockroach, but it just froze there without moving. Dizzy from the poison? *sHrUgS* And THEN it started crawling again. I didn't want it out of sight, so my mum took a magazine and swiped at it. And it disappeared. I was soooooooo frustrated that I sat in the living room sobbing because I wasn't happy at all to know that I might possibly have to spend the night with a sickening cockroach in my room. The thought is just........ revolting. Amidst all that, my mum finally caught it and threw it away. I don't know where she found it, but all the same, thank God. What would I do without my mum? I had to wipe the floor and my chair clean because of the oily residue from the insecticide, and I had to change my bedsheets as well. All just for one stupid flying cockroach. It flew in through my room window, obviously, and I shut them all. It's still shut right now. Sorry, but I'd rather suffocate to death than have another cockroach scare me.

Was browsing Felicia Chin's blog earlier... She's always been someone with such a sweet nature, hasn't she? She's getting prettier, no doubt about that:



And she's really nice, really. Even though she's like a celeb and all... NO AIRS, completely. It's endearing. Bumped into her at Mediacorp's makeup unit during one of my recordings last year:



So speaking of recording, today's episode of Deal or no Deal was interesting...:









Looking so traditional, hey? I love my earrings. Okay, not mine, the wardrobe's. My mum loves this outfit. It's... interesting. Can't tell that something awful happened on that same day, can you? Huh. I remember very well. So anyway, tomorrow is like, the last episode... Time flies, really... If I had the chance to do it all over again, I'd say "yes" in a heartbeat. What I wouldn't give...

Say, if you've always dreamt of something big and when the chance finally comes for you to possibly give it a shot, would you be ecstatic? Or would you be more afraid than anything? I have something going on... But I am terrified of the whole aspect of it. And then I start to question myself, "Isn't this what I've always wanted?" The answer is "yes", but it doesn't make me any less nervous. For one thing I do know, I'd be closer to Victoria's Secret and I'd tornado through the store, trust me. HAHA. Look at my current desktop wallpaper:



Victoria's Secret PINK. Hmmmmm. I have like 4 more designs, but I love this best. Yay. Love VS!!!!!!!! =D

Saturday is Dolley's house party. Going with Rachel. Will be seeing the rest of the hunks and babes there. All I can say is, I hope Dolley's house is big enough to avoid disaster. =)

Alright, my mum bought my supper, so I'm off to eat it and walk my baby, and SHOWER! And then it's Grey's Anatomy time~ I love that show! And then I play Facebook trivia... LoL. It's fun. Oh, and did I mention, I dreamt about Patrick Dempsey the other night?!:



Holy cow........ HE IS HOT. Save me... I think I'm hyperventilating. My McDreamy!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxo

*P.S: Got this off Kristine's blog... Prose! I just like it, don't know why!:

"Perfect lovers, perfect strangers; because there is no perfect someone. I want to draw but I have no pen; because my art is a flaw."

WAH! Hahahaha........

Whyyy did I ever say "yes" to Christabel when she asked if I wanted to go to Chinatown????!!! Never again am I gonna do that, at least not in a long, long time. The crowd........ is........... just......... unbelievable. SO CROWDED!!!!! Ugh, I wanna curse. Christabel came to my place to look for me first. Before setting off, on my living room couch:



We got off at Outram MRT station and started walking from there. I bought a bohemian skirt from the night market for $18. Tried to bargain but the stupid uncle refused to budge!! So I just mumbled all these curse words under my breath and told Christabel that I hope he gets diarrhea with the food he buys with my money. HAHAHA. Because Chinese New Year is just around the corner, everywhere was playing all these New Year songs with cymbals and all that. And it was just red, red, red everywhere. Look left! Red. Look right! Red. Look front! Red. Look back! Red. Look up! Red. Look down! Red. Okay, maybe not that exaggerated. But red enough. Look:



And Christabel is more excited than me!!!!!:



That crazy girl. We bought fruits along the way... Christabel, the auntie:



Her, water chestnuts. Me, rock melon (looove it):



Okay, so this is a really screwed-up picture of me while crossing the road:



I HATE IT. Yuck. But that last picture later, I dropped my rock melon on the floor! =( And I was like, "Urghhhhhh!!!! Half-eaten only!!!" And all these random annoying people started laughing. Lame. So I bought tapioca cake, ate 2 and gave the last one to Christabel (my dustbin, haha). They had so much food there: Portuguese tarts, fried fishballs and wanton and what-not, popcorn... etc. And we walked past this neon sign with all these painted billboards... I didn't even know it was there above because we walked under it, but Christabel made me turn around and look, pointing and saying, "See? Porn cinema." =.= The name is so cheesy! "Yangtze"?!:



Shoot, I bet it's seedy and smelly and full of stains when you actually walk into the cinema. What kinda stains, don't ask me! That's the impression I have in mind. I'm never walking inside unless you wrap me up in a spacesuit and give me anti-bacterial spray. Gross x infinity!

Anyway, there was a lot of walking (A LOT)... And amidst it all, Chinatown at night:





The killer has got to be when we walked the stretch of Pagoda Street and Temple Street... etc. The crowd!!!!!!!!! *sHrIeKs* Everyone was perspiring and sticky and all that, and whenever they bumped into me, I would just wanna gag and scream, "Get away from me!!" All I could think about was the nearest exit and Dettol overload. We were not even walking, I think we were just crawling along like ants. Everyone was giving dirty looks to one another, especially when parents pushing baby strollers would accidentally roll over someone else's foot or something. It's stupid, really... The fact that they would even bring a baby stroller to such a crowded and stuffy place. Christabel bought New Year deco and cushion covers. I bought nothing. Nothing for me to buy, really. I am not THAT traditional anyway. We past this Chinese puppet show on the way:



They call this "wayang", I think. The tourists and children were all so fascinated, it was quite a sight. All I had left were frayed nerves by the time I finished walking a stretch, and I just wanted to go on home, but Christabel wanted to get German sausages at some stall, so we had to walk another stretch. I wouldn't stop lamenting and letting her know it was her fault for cheating me to such a crowded place. I didn't even know it was gonna be so crowded! I don't walk Chinatown at all! If I knew... Would I still have gone? Noooope.

It was a long walk back to the train station, and we ate our bratwursts and potato salad as we walked. The food was yummy. We queued a long time for it, just because that man is a Caucasian selling Western food in Chinatown. The potato salad was the best one I've ever had! They had bits of bacon and pickles inside. Killer combo, both my favourite! Hehehehe. By the time I reached the train platform, I had a headache between my eyes. It was horrible.

I am tired out. Goodnight!!!

It's quite painful... Magnets of the same pole repel. Further and further away... A heart, cracked down the middle.

HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went clubbing again with Rachel! Ladies' night! And also because Rachel's 18-year-old cousin, Hannah, was down from Australia and she wanted to go out to the clubs. I was a drunken ass alright... 2 hours into our fun and I was plastered big-time. We went to O-Bar again, because Rachel is cheapskate and she wants the free drinks! Haha, kiddin'. We all do. I went for my doctor's follow-up appointment yesterday afternoon and to all those fuckers out there, looook at thiiiiiiiiis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:





If you don't understand the word "negative" or "non-reactive", then please look up the dictionary. If you still don't understand, then you're a stupid brainless asscrack for sure. So now I have black-and-white documented proof. Apologies are welcome. If you still wanna go on spreading da shit, then go ahead and delude yourselves, I don't care... Because why should your refusal to accept the truth be MY problem, right? =)

After the doc's, I dropped by Larel's office to fulfill the appointment I had with her, about the financial planning stuff. She said it was gonna be quick, but I sat in that same chair for more than 2 hours, letting her talk me through a God-knows-how-many-pages questionnaire. That caused me to have to cancel my trip to the bank and my decision to go home and change first before meeting up with Rachel. And worse, Larel scheduled a second appointment with me 'cos she had to compile my information and draw up a draft or some sorta thing, I don't know... I really really hate to make a trip downtown specially for something I don't really think is sooo important! =( Bleahhhh! All this trouble just for financial planning? GEEZ. I wish Larel had just stuck to her sales job instead of becoming a financial consultant. It's just like friends and insurance - when a friend becomes an insurance agent and pester you to buy insurance from them but you don't want to, and yet you don't know how to tell your friend without offending him/her, blah blah blah. Oh well. But anyway, whoever else wants to know more about financial planning or whoever needs a consultant to manage your finances, CONTACT me and I'd get pretty Larel for y'all!

Rachel had a casting near my home, so she met me up in Tampines Mall and we went for dinner. Yummy yong tau foo at Food Junction... I finally got my mushroom fix! I told Rachel that if she could drag me out to the shops and find me a decent outfit for the night, then I'd go club with her. So we went window-shopping and because she was dressed so casually, I thought about my wardrobe and decided to not buy anything. Instead, I only got the red Converse sneakers I'd always said I'd buy but never actually gotten around to getting. It's like a necessity, that pair. Love it. Oh, and I got a shoulder bag from Zinc! It was on discount, and it was a shoulder bag. And Rachel can so be a sales personnel because I let her talk me into buying it as well! We went back to my place and got my outfit together, then we settled down to watch Deal or no Deal...:











Now that I recall, did we really keep having our hair up in ponytails? Weird... It's like so many episodes I see has me in a ponytail when I don't even remember them tying it up that way for me that many times. Ha, whatever.

We were watching our show and I was waxing my legs at the same time, and then I brought Gucci for a quick walk before leaving the house. Rachel and I were late because SHE was taking her own sweet time sitting on my couch and touching up her makeup. Poor Hannah called several times to hurry us up because she was already at Clarke Quay MRT station and she was panicking because she was alone and she wasn't local. I made Rachel step on my sneakers to dirty them a little bit because it looked so new and awkward. I don't like it! And I made her do it again on the train. Dirty sneakers are cooler. Haha. Me and Rachel on the train:



We walked all the way to O-Bar, only to be rejected at the door because Hannah was underaged. The door bitch refused Rachel's pleas again and again until we saw Rachel's other male cousin, who flirted with that door bitch and got us in, but that door bitch still kept on saying, "Last time, last time, no more." Whatever... Doesn't really matter to me.

So we got free beer, but Rachel made me buy a jug anyway 'cos it was troublesome to keep queuing up for glasses and the last time we were at O-Bar with the guys, Rachel bought a jug and she wanted me to return the favour. So I did. Found a seat at the bar and sat there because I don't dance. Our party pictures:







I think this was Jug No. 2 because Rachel decided she wanted another one... And by then I was half-gone:







See? Told you I was higher than I would have liked to be:













Sip, sip, sip... We drink beer with straws because we're cool that way. Lalala~:







Crystal, officially drunk:







Party people:



Fucking drunk, I am!!!!!!!!! But whatever, who cares:











Happy poison...:



I made them swear to start sipping on the straw and NOT stop, so we could finish the beer at one go... On a dare, we kinda did:



I was so drunk, I ended up naked at the bar...:



JUST KIDDIN'. I was wearing a racer-back tank top, you just can't see it from here. Anyway, that's the ugliest picture of the night. To speed things up so we could get our asses to Ministry of Sound... CHUGGING:



This is gross but stupidly hilarious at the same time...:



I spilled down my chin and all. HAHAHAHA... I was seriously, seriously gone...

We all took a cab down to Ministry of Sound 'cos nobody was in the right frame of mind to walk, especially not me. Rachel was being such an idiot in the taxi because she put on this gungho voice and teased the driver, "Whoaaaa... Uncle speeding... Whoaa... Uncle F1 driver, man...." And me and Hannah were just laughing hysterically. And the uncle knew we were drunk, of course, because he played along with us and said, "Tell you a secret. I'm not wearing my seatbelt." And then he started cutting corners and making the tires squeal and we would all pile to one side whenever he turned a corner. Under normal circumstances, I would have said, "Oei! Slow down!" But because we were all intoxicated, all of us were just in hysterics. At least I was sober enough to remember.

We stumbled out of the cab at our destination and giggled all the way to the door. The bouncers checked our IDs, and then one of them called me over. I said, "Huh? OH! You wanna check my bag?" And he reached out his hand for my ID. I gave it to him, and he said, "Are you a regular here?" I said no, and he asked me why. So I said, "Ummm... Because I don't club often?" And he actually said, "What if I give you a complimentary membership?" Because I was so drunk, I patronised him and said, "Then I'd club more often!!!" And before he could reply, Rachel said to him, "You trying to pick her up, right?!!!!" And then she dragged me away. ............................. There goes my membership!!!!! Dang!

Something stupid happened after that... Rachel nudged into me lightly, by accident, and I actually lost my balance and fell. I was that gone!!!! I landed on the floor and got up as quick, but I was laughing and I hugged her because I was embarrassed as well. She said, "Nobody saw, nobody saw." But like I believe her! Gawd! So embarrassing! I bumped into Ben and his colleagues at one of the corridors of the club. He called my name, and all he could say was, "And you say you don't club! And you say you don't club!!" Stupid. I think he was drunk too. Hahaha.

I had a bruise on my elbow from the fall, which I only found out much later. I had to sit down because I couldn't stand straight, and yet I still took pictures of Rachel and Hannah dancing, even though some are out of frame!:









HAHA, my favourite picture!:



Rachel is a crazy lunatic and I love her! And apparently, so does this random guy!:



Duuuuuuude. You got caught in the act trying to pick my friend up... Step forward and confess if you see this pic, please, whoever you are.

I went to the ladies' and threw up after that... All my dinner. I could taste mushrooms. Gross, right? Twice. Everything was a drunken blur. I had to wake up today for my aerospace casting at 2.30pm... The boss was teasing me the whole time, and I didn't know if he was trying to be sarcastic or whatever, but I responded anyways... And then when we stepped out of the room, Brian asked me if I was still "high from yesterday". Maybe they didn't get my jokes, just like I didn't get his boss' jokes, but it's okay, because after that casting, I have been praying I don't get chosen after all because now, we need product training. I HATE PRODUCT TRAINING! Cloud didn't say anything about that when she called me up for the casting, and now they wanna change the job scope. It's really, really annoying.

Lunch was at the Ikea cafe. Swedish meatballs rock! Yummy. I finally bought the mosquito net. For the photo shoot, soon! =) I checked out wardrobes as well. It's difficult to find the wardrobe of my dreams to hang all my clothes, but I found one that I could go with and not complain too much, even though it's not exactly what I had in mind... Is there even an ideal wardrobe? I don't even know if that would fit into my room. =S

Just came back from supper with my mum downstairs... My stomach is bursting and I could puke all over again, man... Shouldn't have ate so much, argh... Anyway, told you Chinese New Year was coming... Look at my neighbourhood...:





So red! So Chinese! But I love the fairy lights!

So now I am home, and I am oh-so-very tired... The past few days has like, blended into each other... I can't differentiate this day from the previous. Oh well. Gotta hit the sack now, can barely keep my eyes open...

Kay, a quick one. I just wanna say I don't understand why there are people who think they're sooooooo darn amazing. Like, they think they're super-hawt and deserve the "Best Personality" award as well. Hellooooo??? Please remove your head from the cotton-candy clouds and come back to Earth. I know it's prettier up there (yes, prettier than you are) and you don't wanna come back because I am here on Earth, but too bad... So sad! What are you gonna do now? *sMuG*

"I hate you" can be said by everyone. Surrrreee... I can say it too. Because actually, I don't even need to say it and YOU KNOW. Great, so you're not so bimbotic after all. Hmmmm... That's quite surprising. Aiyah, never mind... Just remember that no matter what poisonous words you say about me or indirectly to me, it's still cowardly because you say it behind my back, and no matter what you say, just always remember that I feel the same way exactly. BUT... TWENTY-FOLD back at you, please, thank you very much. When I see this person, all I see is a disgusting freak wasting space on this earth when it could have been occupied by someone better because it is completely an eyesore to see her walking around with her ridiculously GROSS fashion sense and you know what? Bad breath is another problem. Gross............. Please, it's so gross. And this blog is not for you to read if you don't want to. And why do you come back? Because you're nosey and you care. Wahahahaha... How good it feels to know that. It's fine, if you wanna join the rest of my lovely readers... But please don't pollute the air with your bad breath. Coming back would only honour me, you know... And even if no one knows about it, YOU know, and that's all that matters because you'd be the stupidest person on Earth for deceiving yourself. God, this is sooooooo funny!!!!!

What's done is already done and cannot be undone. So? Hate me lah. Too bad... No matter what you say. *sMuG* And before you start another rampage like a mad nutcase, think if I'm talking about you meh? Or maybe you admit it yourself that you're really like that, if not, no reason to flare up, right? Gosh, how dumb. And I thought you weren't that much of a bimbo. Kiss my ass and call me "mummy". Okay, byeeeee sweethearts~

*P.S: I know you all are also thinking why a person like that exists, but never mind... For now. To make everyone feel better, look! I have a video of Britney Spear's acoustic version of Gimme More sang by this girl called Maria Digby. Calvin gave me the link some time back but I only added it to my YouTube favourites and completely forgot to blog about it. Here it is (she is amazing)!!!!!!:



How does she do that??? There, another question to keep you stumped... Rather than wasting time on stupid people with no fashion sense. ;) Ciao~

See what my 4 and a half-inch heels did to me!!!!!!!!:



Dang it... Same for the other side. Stings like hell in the shower.

I was late to school this afternoon 'cos I got carried away on Skype. Hehehe. Angelina waited for me opposite the school gate. It was like magic, walking in the school compounds again. We said hi to the printing lady, pointing at notice boards and photos and gossiping about teachers. LoL. Took the stairs up to the 3rd floor where the Art room was but it was locked:



Art pieces...:



We went to the washroom and Angelina was complaining that they didn't renovate the toilet. Haha. It's still the same, still with pink tiles and 3 mirrors. And me popping out from one cubicle like a ghost:



=.= I know the pic came out a bit wrong. Haha. The light from the window... Ugh. Like an opening up to Heaven or something. HAHA. Sorry, been watching too much Ghost Whisperer! =P "Do you see the light?" LOL! Okay, enough! This is better, right? But still such a weird angle... I look like I'm falling... -_-:



Me and Angelina:





Did you know that Angelina and her friends used to bully me in school? LoL. But we're all grown up now, and it was stupid. SHE was stupid for bullying me. Haha. And I was stupid for not retaliating. LoL!!!! The carpark from the 3rd floor:







Opposite, there's the chapel and the gate to the primary school (also MY primary school, years and years ago). We called Mr Gopal to tell him we were here and he came up to unlock the Art room for us. The room is exactly the same. Even the table arrangements and posters on the wall are in its original position. Hahahaha. With Mr Gopal in his office:



My ex-Art teacher. The one all the boys hated because he was more lenient with the girls. LoL. He had to leave us halfway 'cos he had to go back to his meeting, so he left me and Angelina in the room on our own. Me and Angelina 'in class', going, "Teacher! I have a question!":



Half of the out-of-focus Art room (my camera is dying on me!):









In the store, with all the paint and easels and students' work (batik!):



On the easel (legs look short because Angelina is a lousy photographer who's clueless about angles):



In hiding, hahahaha:



Broom and a watering can?! HAHAHA! (Again, legs look even shorter because Angelina blah blah blah! Argh!):





Poster paint...:



Look, even the floor of the store is artistic! Pretty accident! ;P:





We were about to step out of the store when the easels collapsed...:



=.= Weird. Batik-making, anyone?:



I remember the smell of this wax thingy used to waft throughout the whole room and I was so sick of it. I love the smell of crayons better. LoL.

Hmmmm... I can tell the time well. It's 2.10pm! LOL!:





The light and fan switches...:



"Is this equation correct, students?":



Haha, honestly, I don't know!!! I wrote that, but I don't know if it's right. Angelina says it is! I still think it's weird... Like something is wrong. LoL. Mr Gopal's handwriting:





Trying to erase his words, hehehe:



With Angelina in the Art room:





You know, I saw the OHP machine sitting there and I thought to myself, "Does this work, I wonder........" And I flipped the switch. When the light flooded the room, I gave a shout of surprise. And then immediately after, I felt stupid because of course it works!!!! LOL. It's just the memory of making shadows that got me excited. HAHA, stupid, really!:



Caught in the "headlights", because we would shine the light straight in our classmates' faces when we were younger, just for kicks......:



God, I didn't know we were so childish last time. Hahaha. Me and Angelina giving the finger... Guess which is mine? =P:



My shadow dog eating up the equation...!!!:



With Wire-Man:



Some paper-moulded hand..... Weird. Let's name it "Thing", just like in The Addams Family! Haha. Me and Thing! =P:



Students' art-work! Caged:







The definition of beauty:





I love this painting!:



See, there's a "Vogue" header there, implying that popular fashion mag, and there's a runway model as well... And all these phrases: "Perfection is deadly", "Beauty is anorex", "Burn more fat!"... I think it's brilliant! And this is my senior Hui Yuan's art piece from wayyyyyy back:



That's her definition of beauty. It's a distorted mirror, meaning that whatever people see of themselves is distorted, and that's when all the moulded faces come in at the border, with piercings everywhere. You get the drift: people pierce their bodies to make themselves more beautiful (or so they think) because all they see when they look in the mirror is distortion. Distorted reflections in the distorted mirror in this distorted world of ours..... =S Our distorted selves in the distorted mirror... Can you spot us?!:













Gosh, I don't think I was this creative in the past! LoL. Maybe 'cos I was always like that (EXAGGERATED boredom!):





BORED in school, bored during Art lessons - 2 and a half hours of drawing kills! I remember that so well. =S "Stealing" drawing paper from the other store:



HAHA. I always did that in school, I remember... Lazy to erase my work, and I'd rather start all over, so I would always get new drawing paper over and over because it was free anyway! LoL!

More artwork:



This has been here for years!:



Paper-cut!!!!!! My favourite!!! I had mine... This theme is "music" 'cos there's a guitar and all that... Mine was "flowers", but Mrs Melody Low lost it after grading it. =(:



Claywork...:







I don't like the claywork thing because I had long fingernails (still do) and it's super-uncomfortable when clay gets underneath. And you destroy your work if you have long nails. Which I obviously did.

Dirty basins...:



Classrooms:







Values: "Commitment - Our Resolve" and "Excellence - Our Pursuit". Up on the building so nobody forgets!:





Corridor outside the library...:





AVA room!!!!!!!!!:



We took that picture through the glass panel of the door 'cos it was locked and that was all we could see... Man, I miss that room! How all the seats descend down to the bottom... Miss Christina Tan, our music teacher, let us watch The King and I for music lessons, and I fell in love with that film in this very room, okay?! Love it... And Mrs Lilian Seet let us watch Bring It On on the screen as well, during a free period or something. Bring It On... Nothing to do with the curriculum. Haha. Fun!

Study corner (also one of my favourite areas 'cos it was so windy there):



Stairwell, one of the many in the school that we had to climb every morning and everytime after P.E lessons with our legs like rubber after the 2.4km run:



The mini-waterfall next to the canteen!:





The hall opposite and the canteen downstairs...:



IT room, the room of severe boredom because of all the websites barred from us:



We weren't even allowed to surf the Net! Wait, did they even have an Internet connection? Geez, boring! Outside the room at the new block, when Angelina was trying to take a picture and I jumped into the frame!:



Okay, now I'm out. This is the new block (not very new by now, haha):



We weren't supposed to go anywhere else because at the security post, we stated we were there to see Mr Gopal, and we had to see him only and then no one else. Mr Gopal said in fact, now the teachers have to see students only in the canteen and we weren't allowed to wander anywhere else. Yeah... Security is getting ridiculously tight, but at the risk of bumping into Mr Ho, the annoying I-don't-know-who (I don't even know his position in the school!), Angelina and I went to the staff room to visit other teachers. I managed to see and say hello to my Secondary 3 form teacher, Miss Ong Lulu. She remembered me. And the first thing she asked me was, "Are you still modelling?" Haha. Ong Lulu... We used to sing, "Little Lulu, little Lulu~~" when we saw her. And we would imitate the funny way she walked. Evil, I know. But we were young and innocent! Haha. Miss Ong called Mrs Jessie Leong out of the staff room for me, and guess what?

.................................... Mrs Leong didn't remember me. -_-"' She didn't! It was awkward for a bit! I had to jog her memory and at the same time, frantically recall which year I graduated so I could tell her. Haha! I told her I missed her English lessons. I do! It was the best because I loved English so much. She said my classmates would tell her I wanted to be a model when I grew up. I was surprised because I wasn't aware of that. Or maybe I wrote it in some writing for school. Haha, I cannot remember. I doubt it, you know... I'm not the kind to admit such a big dream! Still, she knew about me doing modelling and all that, and she said she'd watch Deal or no Deal and tell her twins that it's her ex-student carrying Briefcase Number 25. LoL.

Saw Mr Chiang at the stairwell, and we waved from afar and walked towards him. And as we approached, he said, "Wow, you guys like models like that." HAHAHAHAHA! Mr Chiang is still so funny. He was nice enough to tell us that the next time we wanna go back to school, he'd open the side gate for us because he has the key. Or we can just tell the security guard that we have an appointment with him and whether we really do or not, Mr Chiang said he'd still tell the guard we do, just so we can go in without any hassle. Haha. That's awesome. Outside the head-of-department room, just for fun:



At the ground floor outside the principal's office:



SCHOOL CODE!!!:





Rachel called me on the phone at that time, but don't worry, I can multi-task, hahaaaa... Oh my God... The school code! Every Monday before the nation's pledge! Haha! I have completely forgotten every single one. But reading the first few lines, I can close my eyes and vaguely remember the rest! LoL.

Angelina and I grabbed a drink at the canteen. Snacks!:



Hehe, I bought donuts and a drink!:



Met my younger cousin Desmond there, a student at the school (lucky him!!!):



Chapel of Christ the Redeemer:



The main carpark, with the NPCC in training (is it NPCC or St John's? HAHAHAHA!!!!! Crystal, the bimbo... =.=):





We told ourselves we'd stay till 2.30pm, but we both ran late because there were too many things to see and people to meet! Hahaha. We finally left at 3.15pm or so. Goodbye, school!!!!! I will be BACK!:



=D Angelina left to meet her friends first and I went home to change because I had a casting in town. It was a mad, mad rush and I was late by 15 minutes but the client waited for me even though he made my agent call and call me while I was on my way. SO ANNOYING, I SWEAR TO GOD. And on my way, the strap of my sandal around my ankle was rubbing against my blister from the heels that night. It got harder and harder to walk until I was limping by the time I arrived at the MRT station. Had to pop in to the pharmacy to get plasters because I couldn't take another step without wanting to cry out loud in pain. Anyway I think the casting was a disaster as well, and I shan't go into it. It just made me wonder if I really can do modelling for a long time. Maybe not. *sHrUgS*

Went to a bus-stop to check out any bus to take me to any train station. Boarded Bus 51 and sat on the upper deck... I love sitting on buses and listening to my mp3 player and just letting my mind wander, watching the world go by... Singapore rocks. Hahaha. But I don't understand why some people don't have proper hygiene. I mean, seriously!!! I just HATE sitting on public transport and having the sour smell of others' perspiration assault your nostrils. Eeeeeewww!!!!!! That's just gross, okay?! Okay, there I go again going all princessy but it's true! It's truuuue!!! Yuck x 5000! Maybe they don't have a sense of smell. Hahaha. Too gross.

Took the train home at Lavender. I'm sooo freakin' tired. Shawn Huang came on MSN earlier. SHAWN HUANG! He's not even in my contact list anymore because he didn't come online for years, so I thought he deleted me or something. But imagine the shock I got when he came to say hey and told me to add him on his new account. And he said, "I saw you on Deal or no Deal. Cool!!!" Shawn Huang, hahaha. The guy younger than me by 2 years and the one whom I had a crush on in high school. My junior! Unbelievable. He's grown up now, I can tell by the way he speaks. More pleasant, less brooding. Still young, but at least he thinks better now. I'm glad. And I'm even more glad that I no longer have a crush on him!

The silly things we get up to when we were kids...... HAHA. *sIgH* All over now! Who cares. =P Nights!

I'm still very, very tired. Didn't sleep much. Anyway, yesterday was crazy to the limit. Really. Was gonna meet Rachel at Wheelock Place, but you guessed it: she was late. So of course, I got a book off the shelf at Borders bookstore and sat in a corner to read. Annoyance gave way to gladness at seeing her after so long, so Rachel Doss, you got off easy! LoL.

The walk to the venue seemed longer in 4 and a half-inch heels, and the both of us were perspiring by the time we arrived. Initially what we thought was this bar and a few tables and that's it, but when Rachel and I stepped out of the lift and saw a reception table in front of a room with several round tables, we were like, "Are we at the right place?" There were more people than we expected, Dolley's relatives and friends... etc. This lady took our names at the table and gave us a red packet each. She said Dolley bought lottery for all of us and we were to check the results to see if we won. It was a nice gesture, but we didn't win! Haha. Dolley came to say hi, and she was so nice.

We ate before the show aired. The banana cake was divine!!! Silly Jamie kept on going back for more. Haha. I would too, if my tummy wasn't hurting. =S It was hilarious to watch the guys holding the briefcases all over again. They too, were so excited. I can imagine! A lot of people left after the show, but I stayed with Rachel and Jamie and the rest of the guys. With Dolley, our kind host!:





Me, Danielle (she's so gorgeous, can't believe she's only 19!), Jamie, Dolley, Rachel and Adlina:



Jamie, Rachel and me:



The Deal or no Deal babes (clockwise from top - Lutfiah (18), Farhana (13), me (25), Rachel (19), Jamie (9), Jasmine (24) and Danielle (23)!:



Me with Rachel and her hilarious rubber lips!:





Dolley opened red wine, and we each had a glass. The guys drank vodka. Gorgeous Lutfiah with her wine:



Joelyn, our "nanny", and Lutfiah:



Wine and gossip! Haha. I'm kiddin'!:





There was confetti on the table (I don't know why) and me and Rachel stuck it to our faces, being silly!:





Me and Norman:





With Dolley's relatives/friends (????):



We all went to O-Bar after the dinner at the American Club. While waiting for a cab...:



Shankar: Drink! Drink it! Drink the vodka!
Norman: No... No, no, no... I had a lot just now. Nooo...
Shankar: (to Fajr) Grab his hands!

And this was what happened:



Hahahaha. Poor Norman.

Wednesday was ladies' night, so the girls went in free. Jamie almost couldn't get in 'cos apparently, the minimum age was 20 and sweet little Jamie is 18. But Shankar settled it with the door-bitch and tada! We were in. My heels were killing me (trust me, they WERE), so I found a seat at the bar. Jamie ordered a margarita for herself and Rachel went to get me a non-alcoholic drink (I specifically said "non-alcoholic"!), but she came back with 2 glasses of beer and said, "Nah! Non-alcoholic!" And then she giggled like she'd just done a brilliant thing. =.= On purpose, obviously! I took it anyways. What the heck, right? Aaron joined us at O-Bar, and they all danced around me and with each other, while I went around taking pictures and blackmailing my friends. LoL. Just kiddin'. The sweet couple, Jamie and Ryan!:



Rachel, me and Jamie by the bar:



Ummm... No, I don't know what's up with Jamie!:



Jamie was supposed to pose with her cherry but Rachel barged in and the angle of the picture made it look like Rachel had an eyeball fetish or something! Classic!:



We all met Roshni at the club, and she had this long scarf on her head. And to my surprise, she was bald. Yup, Roshni shaved her head for the cancer society, for charity. Respect! Us with a new Roshni:



The smell of popcorn came wafting to us and Jamie bought a basket. We were all high, I really think so. I knew I was, because I was drinking my beer and the guys kept shoving jugs of bourbon coke and vodka-Red Bull in my face, telling me to, "Take a sip! Just one sip!" One sip became many sips and it mixed with my beer, so I was unsteady on my feet faster than I could say, "It's Tiger time!" Haha. I rarely ever get drunk, but when I do... you'd think if I were really that geeky after all. LoL. Rachel started this "pass-the-popcorn" thing... Let's see us do it!:





Oh, God, lame! Haha. We started throwing popcorn into the air in an attempt to catch it in our mouths, and of course there were more misses than hits. Look at the floor!:



Haha! It was just our area that was popcorn-littered. =X Oops! Hehe. Rachel ordered a jug of beer to share with me, even though from here on, you can see in almost every picture that I was already a little bit gone. HAHA:





Jamie and Ryan with Shankar:



Me and Narain, and Rachel's beautiful middle finger which spoilt the picture!:



Rachel "I-have-rubber-lips" Doss and Norman "I-am-acting-nerdy" Hartono!:



Narain and Shankar (and again, Rachel's hand at the side and Aaron's grin in the background. Those silly people! LOL!):



Rachel and Shankar:



Me and Shankar:



Narain, Norman, Rachel, me and Aaron - happy, crazy people!!:



Them friends partying it up:





I was a little bit high, that is why I don't care how kinky this picture turned out when I took Norman's glasses to wear!:



Shit, it's really madness, isn't it? Haha. Me and Aaron, Briefcase Hunk No. 17 (he is cute lah, just like I think Nick is, and so is Chris Hussey, hahaha):



Fajr, Rachel and Norman:



Crazy and high:



Me and Fajr:



Me and Shankar:



And me and my darling sweetie baby Rachel Doss!:



MUAHHH!!!!!! Kisses, xoxo!:



I gotcha, Rachel, you won't fall back! But look at her face! Haha!:



Norman said to Aaron, "It was thiiiis BIG! I swear to God!":



LMAO! Okay, I made that up. Smile, Aaron, you're on candid camera!!:



He looks so "duhhhh". Haha.

O-Bar closed at 3.45am, and we went on to The Living Room at the Marriott Hotel. We all didn't stay long, though. Because some of them had to work the following day and Rachel and I kinda wanted to just go home. We went for supper at McDonald's before leaving. The vain Deal or no Deal hunks posing with their McDonald's drinks!:





Shared a cab home with Fajr, Narain and Aaron:





That's all! Tomorrow I have to go back to school for a visit, so it's time to turn in early. I am soooo tired!!!! It was a hell of a crazy night, and before I go, I am very tempted to say this, and in fact, I will say it: "Who says I don't know how to party?" *sMuG* LOL.

Goodnight!!!!

How long has it been since I last spoke to Rachel on the phone? Like, for hours on end? Wayyy too long! So I did earlier, for I think 2 hours. I need water; my mouth's dry and my ear is burning! LoL. But it was nice to get back in touch and laugh our asses off at the silly things we say all the time. And now we're on MSN!:



Hahaha. Okay, so she doesn't have a webcam. Soon she will! 'Cos I influence easily. ;) Anyway I'll be meeting her up, 7pm at Wheelock Place before we go for the party at the American Club. I'm excited at meeting her... It's been ages, ever since Deal or no Deal ended! I'm dreading the taxi fare, really. Midnight surcharge is gonna be a killer.



I miss you, Rachel D! Let's work it tomorrow. =P

Anyways.......... Party pictures will be up after I've regained my energy from being dragged around by Rachel and her effervescence. =) Till then...... ^_^

My friend, Takatoshi from Japan, Briefcase Hunk No. 8:



I had to put this here because I laughed out loud at his last sentence, "Am I playboy? Maybe. Secret. You writing? No, no, no, I'm no playboy." HAHAHA!!! Knowing Taka and the way he speaks... I laughed out loud, literally. Because his Japanese accent just cracks me up. LoL.

Anyway, cute little thing in my room, on my chair!:







SO. I was watching yet another episode of Grey's Anatomy this evening when this girl appeared on-screen as a patient. Immediately, I sat up in my seat because for just a tiny little split second, I thought, "How come I have a twin?!" LOL. No, seriously! I've never had this feeling before! Then I realised she had the same hairstyle as I did and she had these big eyes. But she is wayyy sweeter-looking, hahahaha. I'm serious! I couldn't find a picture of her in the show when I Googled her name, but this is also her in another hairstyle:



Her name is Michelle Ongkingco. She's a regular on Gilmore Girls, though. I don't know anything; Google is the expert. =P She looks so Asian (I think she is!), but her last name is... weird. Haha. I am also told I look like Zhang Jing Chu from Rush Hour 3. But I am very, very insistent that I do NOT look like Zhang Jing Chu! I don't get it:





Heyyyy, we look so different. I'm prettier! HAHAHAHAHA.

Okay, enough. That's all! GOOOODNIGHT! =D

Beach day!:



Managed to avoid the rain today. It only rained about 4.30 or so, an hour after I arrived home. Gucci in the cab:



Had lunch at McDonald's. Gucci was in his stroller and I knew he was thirsty, so I let him poke his head out and fed him water from a cup. So cute:



After lunch, I was walking to the beach when Gucci suddenly fell out of his stroller. Gave me a shock 'cos I didn't know if he jumped or fell out accidentally. I wanted to put him back in but when I saw what happened, I knew he didn't fall because he peed in the damn stroller and wanted to get out! So I had to walk back to McDonald's to get lots and lots of napkins to soak up the crap and while I was doing that, he pooped in the street, next to the tables where everyone was having their macs. And so I had to go back for even more napkins to pick up his shit. Washed my hands twice. Thank God they had soap in the washroom. It was a disaster. Had to walk him in the end in order for the stroller to dry. As for the slight smell, of course there wasn't anything I could do.

Brought him to the sea, and after 9 years, my dog is still ever so afraid of the water. First, he refused to budge.............................:



And then I finally managed to get him in for awhile:





HAHAHA:





I hate the sea, and actually... I'm as afraid of the waves as my dog is. Hehehe:



My hands were reaching out to wanna get Gucci back. I know I look funny, scared and all.



People say "scaredy-cat". Noooo... It's "scaredy-dog"!!! Gucci ran away!:



Got him back in:







And he's looking at me like, "What the hell are you doin' to me???!!":



This is the pathetic, "Can we go now???" look from him, and there I am, smiling like he's having a hell of a good time. LoL:



I got sand in my sandals and it was hard to walk. Hurt all the way back to the shops where I bought a towel to wipe Gucci down. Brought him for a long stroll down the beach. Walked and walked and walked...:





The tree canopy, nice right???:





Butt! LoL:













And we ended up at the jetty:







Fed him his treats, and yes, I cut myself out because I looked completely gross:









You can see the shore from the jetty:



It's nice, isn't it? But I still don't like the beach. Haha. Gucci's last picture before leaving!:



I think he was a bit traumatised by the sea today, but he needs to learn! I know I won't let anything happen to him. He should know too. He's my babyyyyyyy.

I would do anything at all that needs to be done, just to defend my dog to the ends of the world, if he gets bullied verbally, physically. YOU know what I mean.

*P.S: Wanna see something funny?





Eh? Same IP address? Why would someone ask a question and answer it themselves? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks, others' foolery makes my day. AND... Also, don't defend me and then speak bull. Thank you very much, but no thanks. =) Alrighty, sweeeeeeeeeet dreams! I know I will have. ;)

Grey's Anatomy - Season 2, Episode 5

Derek's wife, Addison. She cheated on him, and then soon after turned up at Seattle Grace Hospital, wanting him back. Derek was having a relationship with Meredith at that time. Addison gave Derek divorce papers and said, "If you decide to sign them, I'd be on the next plane out." And while Derek was still making up his mind...

Meredith: I lied. I'm not out of this relationship. I'm in. I'm so in, it's humiliating, because here I am, begging -
Derek: Meredith, just -
Meredith: Shuddup. You say "Meredith" and I yell, remember? Okay, here it is. Your choice, it's simple. Her, or me. And I'm sure she's really great, but Derek, I love you. In a really, really big 'pretend-to-like-your-taste-in-music, let-you-eat-the-last-piece-of-cheesecake, hold-a-radio-over-my-head-outside-your-window, unfortunate-way-that-makes-me-hate-you' love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at Joe's tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers, meet me there.

Pick me. Choose me. Love me. Meredith said all these with tears in her eyes and she was so sincere, it's hard to look. So vulnerable at the same time. I know it's just a show and all that, but if you watch it and see the way Ellen Pompeo spoke, then I'm sure that scene will touch your heart.

Anyway, I ate Big Mac again. =X Took a few pictures of Gucci eating his meal, just because I felt like it:













He was so cute today. I brought him along to McDonald's earlier and then tied him outside the leg of a high-chair while I went in to queue up for my order. He was looking around idly on his own and then he spotted me through the glass. And the way he kept staring made me want to burst out laughing. So I smiled at him instead because I was alone and if I laugh, people are gonna think I'm some nutcase. But Gucci's so cute that way. Looking at him from afar, I wondered how I could ever have thought of giving him up whenever he made me angry. He's my darling, biting or no biting.

Beach tomorrow. NO RAIN, PLEEEEASE. Gucci needs his fun. =)

Before I go, my favourite model from Victoria's Secret... The heart-stoppingly gorgeous Alessandra Corine Ambrosio:























Great body, great face, great smile, great hair, even. Why is she so friggin' pretty?!!!! She must not be human! I've always thought the most beautiful women came from Brazil. Ale is Brazilian (and so is Gisele Bundchen!). So sexaye! If someone asked me who I would wanna look like if I could choose anyone in the world, without a second thought, I would blurt her name out. "ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO". Because for starters... Who wouldn't wanna be a VS Angel? =P



Goodbye while I go and dream................................... Go Ale, go Ale...

This post is dedicated to my high school. I'm gonna talk about school now! Here! Don't fall asleep on me! Did I say just how much I miss school? I dooooooooo~ SO MUCH. I miss school. I just said it again. I miss school! And again! Not school as in going back to study, but more like my old school where everything is familiar. One of my juniors sent me a Facebook group invite to join the school alumni, and I found these pictures taken by someone named Isaac... And then everything just came rushing back and it made me whine because I MISS IT! So we have the carpark where we gather for morning assembly:



Imagine every morning, thinking, "I hate school!" and dumping my school bag on that gravel and sitting down and waiting for the bell to ring. And having to sing this school song:



Yes! Someone uploaded the school song on Facebook and let us download it! I am so grateful! I hated singing it in school (everybody did 'cos not singing it means you're cool, LoL!!) but now when I hear it, the feeling is...... indescribable?! No lyrics on the Net, and because I have such a great memory, I shall write it myself!:

Go forward together, one and all
Forward, onward, whatever may befall
Let's raise our heads high and lift our voice
Service to others is the Christian's choice

Go forward, onward, over to the right
In service, and brotherhood, and love
Forward, and upward, ever to the light
Go forward, and serve our Lord above

Saint Hilda's our alma mater dear
Go forward in her and have no fear
She's our teacher, parent and friend
Whatever path, wherever we wend

Go forward, onward, over to the right
In service, and brotherhood, and love
Forward, and upward, ever to the light
Go forward, and serve our Lord above

I actually remember this song, it's amazing I do. HAHA! Who sang it? God knows. Maybe the school choir. LoL. But I'm glad I have this song now! It's a simple memory. What happens at morning assembly? Every Monday, bring your school tie. If not, you get punished to stand at the school canteen. Some students wore their tie so short on purpose (like McDonald's staff) and got picked out. Teachers would take our attendance, check our hair (no colour, no unkempt hair) and if you're unlucky, your nails (no long nails). And hairbands or scrunchies have to be either navy blue or black. -_-"' No accessories. No-everything. Ugh. And then it was preaching time, followed by a song in the hymn book. And then announcements for the day, and after that class-by-class dismissal. I hated the day to start with History or Physical Education. So taxing! We go back to a classroom like that everyday:





Ignore that girl. That's my senior. Hehe. So anyway, yeah... A typical classroom. And yes, I am guilty of vandalising those tables. I know what's a very naughty thing I always do. See the green board at the side? My seat was there once, and everytime the teacher was giving a lesson, I would pull out the green felt stuff and blow it up in the air, and it will float like a dandelion. HAHAHAHA!!!!!! And because we don't know where it'd float to, I had a huge laugh everytime someone spots the thing and gets distracted. LoL. No, I never got caught! It was so fun. Yeahhhhh... I was mischievous once.

Mischievous people hang out in corridors like these as well:



That's my favourite picture, no idea why. It's a path I used to take everyday for 5 years, I guess. We would spend as long as we could outside on these corridors before the bell rung to signal the end of recess.

The quadrangle:



I can see one of my classrooms!!!! Okay, I have a sneaky smile on my face now. Hehe. The fun I had... Awesome fun.

Guess what? I am going back to school next Friday! To see Mr Gopal and whoever's still teaching there. I called him a few days back... And the first thing he said was, "How're you? I saw you on Deal or no Deal! Still the same?" And I replied, "Yeah... Same. How did you know it was me? Recognisable?" And he was like, "Of course... If you've become prettier than before, then can't recognise you anymore." Haha... Art teachers can crack jokes as well, huh? =X I really, really wish I could sit in one of the classes or something with a lesson going on, but I think there's no way; the head-of-department would haul me out, I bet. Bummer. I wonder how much it's changed, or if it's changed at all. I can't wait.

Before I go, one of the last class photos... in 2004. Where's Crystal???!!! Spot me!:



Haha... I'm in the front row, duhhh... Next to the teacher in purple, Mdm Alley Eio. ;) I know it's too small to see... So I cut myself out!:



Haha. Haha. Haha. HAHAAAA... I look like a baby. LOL. Who cares anyway... I was a good student! As you can probably tell................... =P One of the stricter teachers in the school, Miss Sarah Yew... She always says, "Once a Hildan, always a Hildan." Yup, I agree. Once a Hildan, always a Hildan. Saint Hilda's Secondary... Rocks my socks! =D

Will take pics next Friday! You bet. Off to the beach tomorrow with Gucci. I checked the weather forecast for Sunday... One says it's gonna be partly cloudy, another says it's gonna be a shower with thunder. -_-"' Which one is the correct one, man? No rain, can't have rain! :((((

I always say I wanna sleep early... But oops, look at the time now. =S Byeee.......

I am going to talk about gossip-mongers today. I shall call them "bitches", because it is easier to refer to them as what they are. =) Yes, what they are, not who they are. There's a difference.

So anyway. Think of yourself right now. And look at yourself going through the everyday randomness of life. Simple enough, right? Well, that's what you think anyway. A lot of people don't realise it, but what is "random" to you may be a big deal to other people. And that's when rumours start flying around like nobody's business.

Once upon a time, I had a breakout at the corner of my mouth. Because of my itchy fingers, I meddled with it and it got worse. One small stupid breakout that became worse led some bitches to say that I had herpes. Really? I didn't know I had herpes! Oh, that's a surprise! Thank you for telling me. Are you a doctor? So the breakout at the corner of my mouth is a cold sore just because you said so? Last I heard, so many doctors are still in practice, and when did they all die and make you one to diagnose me with herpes?

Wait, is it herpes or AIDS? Because someone just told me recently that this bitch told her I have AIDS. And that person is someone I used to work with, someone I bumped into at castings a couple of times. I know her name, but yet she doesn't know I am aware of what fucking nonsense she's been throwing around about me. Trust me, the next time I see her, I am going to be so cold, she's gonna freeze. Literally. As of now, she thinks we're still on speaking terms, but what? I don't speak with people like that. Not sorry. Is it AIDS or herpes? Make up your damn mind, come on.

If I had herpes, then where is my supposed "cold sore" now? Healed? Then how come there are no recurrent sores? If I had herpes, then how come there are no cold sores anywhere else on my face or arms or anywhere? If I had AIDS, how come you know? Because I told you? How come I know I have AIDS so I can tell you? Because I went to the doctor? If I went to the doctor, he/she would know and quarantine me, right? So why the hell would I be running around in the streets and allowed to stay at home and get on with my life like a normal person? Well, the answer couldn't be more simple. Because I don't have AIDS. I'm so sorry to disappoint you bitches, but please, I beg you to try again.

I never thought I'd have to blog about this, but when things get out of hand, I thought I'd just have to take matters into my own hands. Call it career suicide (not that much of a career anyway. Who am I, Fann Wong?), call it whatever. I don't care. And after this, you can still believe whatever you want. But we'll see who has the last laugh. I know you can look at me and talk to me and behave like normal but 80% of the time, I also know that the people I know and talk to know these rumours and are actually stupid enough to believe it, even for one bloody second. They just don't ask. Like they say, "Uncomfortable people don't ask questions." I'm glad I made them uncomfortable... Maybe I should run after you with a syringe of my own blood and poke you with that needle, make you scream in horror that I injected HIV into your body. *RoLLs eYeS* That'd be quite a sight to behold.

You know how they say a person can trust no one?

It's true, especially when you hear from all sources about how you like this guy, what happened to you the other time, who-and-who broke up... etc. Just all these random high-tea gossip. And I pity these people because they judge when they know NOTHING. Who is the fool at the end of the day, you tell me? Why, so you all find that there's something wrong in liking another person and dating and getting married and having kids, that sort of thing? Then y'all are soooo farkin' childish, I don't know where to begin. Good luck, because you all are gonna need it. Not that you deserve it, but like I said, I pity you all, so there you go.

Don't think I don't know what people have been saying. I know. I know very well. But I keep my silence and remain civil and laugh and joke with them as usual. Make life easier for everybody, just as I can make life hell for them as they tried to make mine. Say allllllllll you want, it's okay. Because at the end of the day, I will be happier laughing at you people making a fool out of yourself and you're just the DELUDED fuckers in this pathetic world of yours. If you're so damn fucking free and have too much time on your hands, then I suggest that maybe you should go count your armpit hair or something and then proceed to get a life instead of wanting to live mine.

On a last note, I don't know why childish people can get married... It's funny, really. And then when the date is near, I don't know... They'd run away or something. Or maybe catch some bacteria from the boyfriend and come whining to me and asking me if I have any gynecologist numbers she could call. And then out of a good heart, you give her the number and she turns around to accuse you of having AIDS. Or maybe some people have a case of verbal dysfunction where you have to punctuate every sentence with a word "babe". Or maybe you're the type of "monkey-see-monkey-do" coward. Who knows? It's people like that that make life a laugh. And it's also because of people like that who hit me 10 times but I stand up 11. See? Like my favourite bumper sticker says, "Talk shit, say my name, make me famous." If it's my life you want, just tell me. I'd say "thank you", but I'm not gonna give it to you nor let you live or control it because you fucking don't deserve the honour, bitch.

Look at me now: I AM GIVING YOU ALL THE FINGER. Yes, riiiiiight in your face. SO THERE. Why? Is something wrong? Awww... =( So sue me.

Really, one day I'd have solid proof and when I do, don't cry. Watch me.

What kind of a face is this??:







If I recall correctly, I felt this dress was the most comfortable, but you know............ Purple... is so not my colour. I mean, I like purple and everything, but just look at that. LoL.

Anyway, Chinese New Year is around the corner. Next month. The stores are playing New Year music, selling decorations. Everything is red, red, red. It's just scary how time flies. That's why James was right when he said I am at the prime of my life now at 21 and if I don't do what I wanna do now, then I won't ever do it in the future. I wanna get my ass on a plane. HAHA. That's all I can think about right now.

Next week, it's the hunks' episode on Deal or no Deal. Dolley looks so cute on TV. Haha. I'm gonna tell her that when I see her next week. =P Next week should be interesting.............. You know what I mean. And I don't mean it in a good way. ;)

My second purchase of Victoria's Secret came in the mail this afternoon. I was woken up by someone at the door yelling, "Postman!! Postman!" So I answered the door in the worst state ever, annoyed that the postman had to see me this way, but I figured I wouldn't ever see the same postman again, so I pushed that disturbing thought out of my mind. LoL. I could barely keep my eyes open, but temptation was hard to resist, therefore I sat on my bed and ripped the package open to check out my stuff. LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!!! The only PJs I bought:



They're so cute. Ignore the overdosage of pink, but the scribbles on them made me smile: "Kiss me at midnight", "Glitter me pink", "Dazzle me pink", "Pink champagne...", "Candy canes...", "Party girl...", "Hollywood party", "Gimme more pink"... etc. Basically, it's pink-everything. Because it's from their "Pink" range, that's why. I'm not saying I love pink THIS much, if not I wouldn't say it's an overdosage, right? But never mind, it's still cute. Haha.

This... is... my favourite t-shirt! It's so bright and happy (but a bit too long... which is why tailors are always in business - for people like me!):



Lace camisole:



Camouflage-print mini-skirt:



They call this... "gaucho pants", I don't know why. But it looked nice on Alessandra Ambrosio, but a bit big for me even though it's size 0. So, yes, off to the tailor again:



Last but not least, cutesy underwear:



=P I hate string-anything, but I don't know how come I ended up with a stripy one. =S The other 2 are also from "Pink"! LoL. "Social Club Pink" and "I love your band". Cute. Yes, cute. Everytime people think of Victoria's Secret, they think of sexy lingerie. But the thing is, I cannot fit into their lingerie because it's too big for me, even if it's in the smallest size. Whatever it may be: slips, babydolls, whatever. AND, single girls don't buy sexy lingerie. Correction. Single, sensible girls don't buy sexy lingerie. Unless you have a lot of money to waste, which I also don't. Then again, things might be entirely different if I weren't single. Muahahaaa...

This is how the clothes look on the real deal (the hot models, I mean):



This I have in black:



Told you the pants look good on Ale!:



I reeeeeally have to alter mine. Okay, I can't find the rest 'cos they removed it from the website already. Sold out, I guess. I don't know why, it's weird that whenever my purchases arrive at the door and I tear through them, I have an urge to go online again for new stuff. People! Victoria's Secret is addictive! Or should I say online shopping?? Yesterday when I went shopping at the mall, I actually compared that to online shopping and decided that the latter is actually better. Click click click. Less tiring! =X Great...

I'm bringing Gucci to the beach this Sunday. Yay. With James and maybe Christabel, if she's available and wants to bring Rex as well. Will take lotsa pictures! I hope there'll be good weather!

Peace out.

It kinda sucked today. Shopping, I mean. I wonder if it's 'cos of the going-on sales that made everyone grab the good stuff and leave the bad. Finders, keepers. =S Had Ramen Ten (tomyam chicken cutlet!) for lunch again:



After that, it was shopping time. I got:







In-case you were wondering, yes, the shirt is supposed to be crinkled. Good! No need for ironing! Not sure if I should get rid of it, though... I mean, sell it off on eBay or something. 'Cos I don't really like it, even though it's not ugly. Maybe it just doesn't suit me, or maybe it was an impulse buy. The store I got it from... I've always thought it was terribly ugly, with pink feathers on the wall and posters of pretty Taiwanese boys everywhere. And the fashion is worse. But because I saw the mannequin wearing the outfit and James thought it was nice, I bought it. And I got black stockings - nice ones, which are supposed to go with the blue top. It's too short to be a dress.

Last but not least, I bought these from Zara - KILLER HEELS!:







I think they're pretty! Pretty, and pretty formal. HAHA. I don't know if I'd get around to wearing them, but I'll figure a way out. It was $189.90, then $149.90 and finally $89.90. Makes sense to get it right? It's 4 and a half inches. I know, 'cos I measured. =P I have to learn to walk in them! Or maybe sprain an ankle. Or both. =X

We went to so many shops. I think I covered the whole of Far East Plaza but I'm still barely satisfied with my purchases. James said I didn't do my 'homework' before I came shopping or not I'd figure out what I want. I haven't bought fashion magazines in a long time. I am not done yet! I still have practical shoes (compared to the heels) and bags to buy! =X I promise I'd choose carefully so I don't waste money.

Anyway, it's raining cats and dogs now. I fell asleep on the train ride home and got caught in the rain. AGAIN. -_-"' Gucci can't go for his walk... I have to wait for the rain to stop and yet I'm already so tired. Shopping is getting more and more to be a chore. Goodnight...

*P.S: Did this yesterday...:



I gotta get up
I gotta get goin'
I gonna see a friend of mine

(He's round and he's fuzzy, I love him because he's just...)

Pooh bear, Winnie the Pooh bear
Wherever you go, oh won't you take me please
Pooh bear, I know he's out there
Rumbly tumbly
Climbin' a honey tree

Fun never ends for us, we're so adventurous
'Least every now and again
But when you're alone, and there's nobody home
It's nice to be able
To count on a friend like

Pooh bear, Winnie the Pooh Bear
Wherever you go, oh won't you take me please
Pooh Bear, I gotta be the-e-ere
It's me and it's you
My silly ol' Winnie the Pooooooooooh

The song can be such an ear-worm, but I love it. I've been singing it since I was what, 8 years old? LOL. He's so adorable! I think I'd love Pooh Bear until I'm like, 60. o_O Okay, bye!

Thought I could sleep it all away but Christabel called me at 1.15pm, asking if I would wanna go to the pet farm. I thought maybe the dogs could brighten my day, so I said yes. She called me again at 4pm so I could drag my ass out of bed. Us shopping for our dogs at the farm:



I didn't bring Gucci 'cos I didn't want people thinking I am abusing my dog when they see his skin problem. Christabel brought Rex. This is Rex in the taxi:







And at the farm:



They had cats there as well. I like the pattern of the one in grey:





Had some playtime with Ah Dai and Momo at the farm. Was supposed to bring Rex to the dog swimming pool but we had to pay for membership, so we scraped that. Made friends with 2 fierce and handsome Rottweilers, Bruno and Bear. Stocked up on Gucci's dog food and bought him a new food dish and water bowl. Spent a long time after that trying to call for a cab out of that place. And now I'm home.

And that about sums up my boring, non-sociable, inactive day in this world which I know exists.

The end.

"So strap your bones right to the seat
Come on in and don't be shy —
Just to make your day complete
You might get baked into a pie!

On the magic school bus...
Step inside — it's a wilder ride!
Come on — ride on THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!"

*P.S: CALVIN, LOOK AT THE WINDOWS. I SHADED THEM. LoL!

I love the magic school bus. When the cartoon ends with everyone calling the school's hotline and all those different voices going, "Magic school bus? Magic school bus?" LoL. But it's sad, because that way, I am such a kid. =( HEHEHE.

Brought Gucci along to pay for my phone bill at the S.A.M machine yesterday. I realised my dog has this habit of climbing up to the little platform on ATM machines and staying there. He did it again as I was queuing up for my turn at the machine; he went up to the ATM machine nearby and sat there:





My dog can smell money! Dog of fortune! =P

Went for my casting today! Don't think I'm gonna get it because number one, they took all angles of my hands and those blisters are out in their full glory (my agent said they'd only take the top, not the palms, but she apparently didn't know anything) and number two, I saw a lot of Caucasian girls with weird last names on the list. One of them walked in as I was walking out, and you can't help but think, "There's another one." And last but not least, big agency names followed after their names. Singapore loves the Caucasians, so I guarantee you, it's damn obvious some Caucasian will get the job. We Asians are just wasting our time. It's nasty, but that's how it is. Ah, never mind.

Met up with James after the casting. I got caught in the rain. =S Spent $162 on one 1-litre shampoo and another 1-litre conditioner. My heart is aching at the amount spent but now at least I don't have to keep going back to town when my shampoo runs out too fast. Okay, fine, I'm just trying to comfort myself. Dinner was at Ramen Ten, and it was yummy. Not up to much... Gonna watch my shows now. Bye!

Today's artwork............:



=D Sailor Mars! One of my favourite comic characters... Well, when I still used to read comics anyway. Like, when I was 9 years old? As you can see, her element is fire, and she is the sailor soldier with the fiery temper... No wonder she was my favourite. HAHA. I was so in love with Sailor Moon and friends that I even formed a Sailor team with my friends when I was in primary school. And of course, I was Sailor Mars. =P We had a lot of fun re-enacting the comics and having Sailor parties, but looking back, it was hilarious. Ah, kids. XD They're still cool!:



And what about those 20-cent card machines where you turn the knob for the collector's cards? =) I got them with my leftover money from recess. LoL. I think I still have them somewhere... Hundreds of them. Wonder if they'd fetch a sum if I sell them off?

I found my old Biology notes while searching for colour pencils the other day:



Yah, I drew those diagrams. I told you I was hardworking. No joke. Makes me wanna go back and sit in the classroom and for once, be ecstatic about it. I've always loved Biology. Well, next to English, anyway. Maybe it's time to go back and visit the teachers, even though security is so tight now and most of the teachers have gone to other schools. ............... Wait. Why am I talking about the old days so much???? SO WEIRD.

Dinner's side dish:



Yes, I finished the whole packet by myself. =X I love mushrooms! And I love being random! HAHA! Okay, peeps, look at this:



I WANT TO GET THIS CAP AND I AM GETTING IT. Sex Pistols aside, it's a trucker cap! Like how they say, "So fly!" LoL. Found this on Rockabilia, when Gigsy gave me a link to a Nirvana trucker cap. But I like this one better! Many more super-fly ones, but I must pace myself or I'd be the poorest person in the entire universe. I wanna own all the trucker caps in the world! Hehehe. That's an overstatement. Crystal is such a sucker for trucker caps. So you can get me book vouchers, you can get me anything from Victoria's Secret, and you can get me trucker caps! XD

Lastly, a local comedian, Jimmy Nah, more popularly known as MC King, passed away this morning:



According to reports, he complained of breathing difficulty but they didn't manage to save him at the hospital. Watching the news, you see all these fellow comedians of his, for once, sad and crying and distraught, and you know that comedians or not, we are all humans. I don't know the cause of death... Cardiac arrest, maybe? But browsing all these forums, you'd think everyone would sympathise and all, but some of them say things like he's on a permanent vacation now or, "Wow. Really permanent MC." Tsk. Seriously? He's already dead. Must you be so mean still? Humans are evil, I tell you. And yes, I am one. That's why, you know what I mean.

Life is really so fragile, huh? It really, really is when you seriously think about it. We often don't take into heart things like, "Live like you were dying." or stuff like that because we think we have years and years to take our time. But that's not always true. Eat healthy, stay healthy, blah blah, and still. I'm not saying one should eat junk food like always, but not eating helps, of course.

.................... Suddenly I wanna vomit when I think of Big Macs.

Done with The O.C. The last episode is a crying episode! =( So sad. I watched a bit of Prison Break after that. Gotta run. Gucci needs his walk. Big kiss.

*P.S: Found this really cool song, thanks to Angel and her strong protests against "satanic rock bands". "Poison" by Alice Cooper:



He's a guy...................:



.................. and his stage performances all look so evil and I'm freaked, but that song is classic rock. LOVE IT. Lyrics:

Your cruel device
Your blood, like ice
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill

I want to love you but I better not touch (don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison, running through my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains

Your mouth, so hot
Your web, I'm caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace on sweat

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (and pins)
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (deep in)
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison, running through my veins
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains
Poison

One look could kill
My pain, your thrill

I want to love you but I better not touch (don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison, running through my veins
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains
Poison

I want to love you but I better not touch (don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison, yeah
I don't want to break these chains
Poison, oh no
Runnin' deep inside my veins,
Burnin' deep inside my veins,
It's poison
I don't wanna break these chains
Poison

I hate facials!!!!! I hate facials!!!! I HATE FACIALS!!!!!!! Whoever said facials were supposed to be pampering?! I hate!! ARGH! It hurts like crazy! The massaging and all, everyone loves. But don't tell me you love it when the beautician whips out her weapon to pop your breakouts and unclog your pores. Having a facial is a dirty deed. All the dirt! And the PAIN! I couldn't take it anymore today, I actually cried. I know it's silly, but it hurts and you can only lie there and bear with the pain. I always go home with my face all red and full of marks. ='( I hate facials... But if I don't go, then my skin would be worse than it already is. Oh, and you know what? My package is ending soon. They have another one: $800. Where am I gonna get $800?! I have it, but I can't use it for facials. That's daylight robbery. But my skin... Stuck in a rut! Don't you just LOVE being a girl! *RoLLs eYeS*

Anyway, supper for yesterday:



Hehehe. Yay, I'm a Big Mac girl. That and American TV series + rainy weather = Heaven. I only ask for the simple things in life. Haha. I do get up to other stuff at home... I do the things I like to do: I like to read, and I do. I listen to music and surf the Net and all that, and I colour! I printed out colouring sheets off the Internet, and then realised I lost my colour pencils, so I went out to buy a new box just now:



My mum misplaced the old sharpener at home and I couldn't find it anywhere. You know the one where you stick the pencil in and turn the handle? Yeah, it has disappeared. In the end, I had to use the manual one, and I ended up twisting 30 pencils on both ends = 60 times, on a small tiny sharpener. Which left my fingers like that:



BLISTERS! Oh my God. Have another one on my thumb. Sooo silly, ha! Using my blistered fingers, I managed to end up with this:



I did that! =P "Under the sea, under the sea!" Hahaha. Was searching online for the precise tail colour of Ariel, the little mermaid, when I decided to go off-course a little and ended up trying to find out if there were real mermaids on Earth. You think? I don't think so. Ariel is supposed to be fantasy, that's why she's so beautiful. If there were real mermaids on Earth, then they really are hideous-looking, like this:





.............................................. Gross. This was supposedly the mermaid that the tsunami washed up in 2004. So ugly! =X

I brought Gucci for his walk earlier, and as usual, he threw a fit and I had to muzzle him. Whenever I muzzle him, he would attack my ankles..................:







-_-"' I have a neighbour who stays in the corner house next to me, and I think his son opened the door a crack to check out the commotion. I mean, Gucci has been like this for ages, and this is the first time someone decides to be nosey?! I hate nosey neighbours as well, next to facials. I soooo wanted to walk up to his door and ask sweetly, "YES? Do you have a problem?" But my stare would be deadly. Muahahaha.

Tomorrow, I have a last-minute print ad casting. I need the job. I hope I get it. And Saturday as well, another print ad casting for Sony Ericsson. Next Tuesday, the postponed aerospace casting. And on the 16th this month, it's Dolley's party at the American Club! I know what some of you are thinking, but who cares? That place is not under his name. And people think I'm anti-social. People think I coop myself up at home and do nothing. People think I don't know there's a world out there. The thing is, I do know. But I love the world I'm in, so is that a crime? *sIgH* Anyway, will be going for the party with Jamie, her boyfriend Ryan, Danielle and possibly Rachel. So, yeah.

Shower time. Bye.

Goodbye 2007, and hellooooooo 2008. I didn't go to Cafe del Mar after all because entrance fee is $35. CRAZY! That's like robbery. I has some bubbly fun with Gucci yesterday. Been some time since I let him play with soap bubbles. LOOOOOK at him!!!!:

























It's great that he can still find it in his old bones to pop all those bubbles. I have the naughtiest dog in the world, and I hate him but love him all the same. Anyway I stayed home and actually dozed off but got woken up by the rumble of fireworks which I initially thought was thunder. HAHA. How silly. I cannot believe it's 2008 already. Time FLIES!! I feel like cursing because it's so unbelievable how fast it is. =X Another 8 months and I'd be 22! That's horrifying. To think my birthday just passed... You know, 1 year isn't very long after all. So I have bid 2007 goodbye, which in other words, it means I can say, "It happened last year." when I talk about the period of time I fell sick. That was the worst time of 2007, and seriously... It's over! I have worked my ass off for 2007, literally. I've never worked so hard in my life. And for 2008, I am gonna work even harder. I thought I'd have 10K in 2007 but I'm only still halfway there, so you see... Money isn't easy to earn. I hope I can cross 10K this year, you know... Find a friend and conquer LA together... Go to LA and find a boyfriend as well... Just kiddin'. =P I'd rather network and get assignments and earn in US currency and come back to Singapore richer. But that's just talk. Whether it really happens or not, it depends... We'll see how 2008 unfolds! Maybe I'd write a book and have a chance to meet some publisher who would think I am this amazing straight-talking girl who could write a book that would sell like hotcakes. ;) MAYBE. LoL.

2007 wasn't all bad... See, I got to hang out with so many celebs: Hoobastank, J.E.T, Black Eyed Peas, Simple Plan, and the rest of them from SingFest - Sugar Ray, the Noisettes, Cobra Starship, Avenged Sevenfold... etc. And 2008 is gonna bring Incubus and KT Tunstall. Yayness! To meet KT Tunstall is a dream come true. Amazingly talented lass. I met James, I met Christabel... I learnt new things, saw people for who they really are... Met new people, took on new responsibilities, turned 21 and stepped into adulthood. Deal or no Deal gave me a new experience as well... To think I would miss it after all the shit I got from some people really says something... In early 2007, I walked into the ladies' of St. James Powerstation because I was told to exchange uniforms with a girl named Christabel, since mine was too small for me. And somehow or other, we ended up back in the ladies' halfway through work. We were supposed to be skiving, but you know what? Something better happened. We bonded. And work suddenly became so much more fun. I hated the environment I was working in 'cos I've never liked clubbing and cigarette smoke, but to have a friend work alongside you made everything more bearable.



So thank you, Christabel Low Hui Ling. I LOVE YOU. And please, can we stop quarreling already all the time? You know I only want what is best for you, right? You always say your mum doesn't care, and even though I know I don't look the part and I am not even of age, if it means I have to take on your mum's role, then bring it on.

"Hi, nice to meet you." and a handshake was when I met James Tan! At Jonathan's place. I thought he wasn't too bad-looking, but then I was born into this world and destined to love Caucasian men, soooo... HAHAHA. Sorry! There was laughter, clashes... More laughter than clashes, which is good. So STAY THAT WAY. No wonder he's nicknamed Clown................................:



CLOWN, INDEED. You know how a clown behaves... So no surprises there. But that aside, I wanna say "thank you" as well... 'Cos if not for James, my ugly pictures will still remain ugly and my computer would have been infested with viruses and I would still not know where C-major is on the piano. But because he is a digital-imaging artist, a tech-whiz and someone who knows more music than I do (which is very little!), everything makes sense. He is my walking road-map, literally. When I'm out and I lose my way, I call him and he'd tell me to turn left or right, just like a GPS system. No kiddin'. And I know how a guy thinks now, even though sometimes the guy in question might differ from James. But in general, probably. See? Who says people of opposite gender cannot be friends without something going on? Surely you can... Look at me and James! No connection whatsoever! He sucks! HAHA! Just kiddin'. We joke like that, and it's fun. Can't believe it was last year I met him. To 2008, to more laughter and craziness, Clown!

I haven't forgotten Angel and ManQin... Even though I rarely hear from them, we've journeyed through so many freakin' long years together. From adolescents to adults. It's nice to know that you're not the only one who is struggling with certain issues in school when you have friends who're going through the exact same thing.



I love my fellow musketeers. I LOVE YOU, ANGEL! AND MANQIN! I LOVE YOU GIRLS.

These people revolving around my life drives home the point that I do have friends, and awesome ones at that. Because of them, I am not a social recluse like how some people might think I am. *aHeM* I know I don't have the best personality in the whole world, I am flawed and I am worse than a volcano eruption when I get angry, but these people are still around, so that goes to show that they're amazing for sticking around despite all that, so thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart, guys!

When I was talking about responsibility, one of them would have to be SingFest. I never thought I'd have to chaperone someone. No, make that 4 people, not just one. Gigsy and the Noisettes - Shingai, Dan and Jamie. They were no trouble at all, and I thank God for that. Because when I see the rest of the chaperones who got the big names... Man, they really took crap from all corners, and I'm glad my band wasn't like that. I know the band is still getting along well, and I still keep in touch with Gigsy... He's always inviting me to visit him in Berlin and all that, and we speak on Skype sometimes. In fact, he called just now to wish me Happy New Year, so that's cool. It's a wonder. I made new friends with the chaperones, I fulfilled all responsibilities, I still stood tall when __________ blasted me over some miscommunication... Yeah, hit me, but I'd still stand up stronger than before...................... Bitch. That's what you're there for.

And also of course, a certain sir... A person who made me think a lot, taught me a lot of things through the things he said or did without really meaning to... I often sit and ponder what the hell this all means, you know? Why God let my path cross with so many people but only allow it to stick to one of them. The tears happened, the frustrations, the embarrassment (Ross still doesn't stop teasing me about it, dammit!), the fear, even. He frustrates me, pisses me off, makes me cry... But when he makes me smile, I know I can light up the whole damn world like there's no tomorrow. It's just sad it doesn't happen all the time because it's complicated... Nobody's fault... I have my times when I am soooo tempted to be rude and nasty and sarcastic and blame him for it all, but at the end of the day, what does he owe me? Nothing. So it's not justifiable to behave this way. I taught myself that, just by putting myself in his shoes, somewhat. I want to scream at him a lot of times, punch him if I could reach him, shake him and push him around, if only I could drill it into his head that I don't know why I feel this way about him but I just do, and please don't pretend everything is fine because you know it's not and why can't he just see that and understand what I am trying to say. It's quite pathetic to behave like that, if you think about it. I don't mean things are "not fine" as in terrible, but things aren't normal, because if they were, it wouldn't be weird to talk about her. But it is, at least for me. When he says life is too short, it makes me want to stand right in front of him and tell him in the face that I really like him to the high heavens before it's too late, but that won't ever change a thing because one miserable sentence like that isn't gonna change anything. Ultimately at the end of the day, I am just a friend... And that's when my 2008 reminder list comes in. It might sound harsh, but if I don't use that to remind myself, I'm gonna remain pathetic for a very long time, you know? I don't see things changing because I desperately don't want to allow myself to believe for a second that it would, unless I am told by him it would. It won't change, he won't say it would change, and I don't want to fall a second time. I don't know how long this friendship is gonna stay abnormal, and I don't know if it's ever gonna even be normal at all, but as of now, I still find that something in me to hang in there, somehow or other. I don't know what that something is, but I have a feeling it's special, for if not, I would have took off long ago. Trust me, there were times when I really, really almost ran away. I thought running away would solve everything or at least make me feel better, but it's like it doesn't make a difference. Sometimes it's worse. I feel awed sometimes, when I discover I'm actually stronger than I thought I was. But I am also scared as well.

Nobody ever asked me how I really felt about all these... Nobody asked me straight, "Are you scared?" There are some things I cannot say because of this short a time, and it'd sound wayyy stupid if I did, so yeah, I cannot say. Some might think I am stupid for letting every single feeling be known to the other party in question, but guess what?? I don't care. Naive as it may seem, I still believe that honesty is the best policy under any circumstances, and I don't like playing games. In fact, I hate it. Same goes vice-versa. Like me? Tell me. Don't like? Even more so, tell me. It's so easy, I don't know why people have such a hard time with this. Things would be so much easier that way.................. Save a lot of thinking, a lot of tears. You know what I am scared of? I am scared that however strong I might be, one day I might also fall and finally have no strength to get back up on my feet again. And when I don't, I won't be able to catch up and he won't wait for me, will forget me. I don't know, I'm just saying... And precisely because I don't know, I am afraid. So you see where I'm coming from?

I imagine I say, "I like him." And then she steps in with a triumphant look on her face and replies, "Well, babe, you're not the only one." And I don't know... It just makes me feel so.............................. small. I wish I could control feeling such things, but as supreme as he might think I am, there's just this one thing I cannot do. So I guess I'm not so supreme after all.

Anyway, shan't say so much... It's not like I would get a response out of all these anyway. If it's easier to pretend everything's fine as usual, then I'd just go along with it... I just wanna say that I am glad I met you, even though I don't know why it happened, why we're still in contact now, and what all this is supposed to mean, supposed to bring. But you know what you know, and I just wish you'd tell me because I just did - tell you all I know. All the same, it's an experience... I guess. I won't run away... won't avoid you... I'd still be your friend, because that's all it can ever be. Friends. You said it, not me. Not exactly nice to know, but like every other thing that's happened, it's only a matter of time for me to get used to it.

Okay, I feel a lump in my throat now. I never thought I'd actually say this out loud: I'm so sad that things have to be this way. BUT. No crying on the first day of 2008. So I'll stop typing now.

Thank you to the others who matter as well: Larel, Kristine, Calvin, Nicholas, Amanda, Rachel, Gayle, Maggie, Jeremy, Michael, Joyce, Denise, Ross (please STOP TEASING ME ALREADY), Printz, Peter, Mummy Paige... etc. The more the merrier. You know who you are. My world is a better place, one way or another. Every single name I've mentioned in this entire post, I just want to say, "I love you!!!!"

Happy New Year, once again.